In Our Loss, There is Return
Shabbat Message
The evening was cool and heavy, the first sign of rain hanging in the air. I walked slowly along the path of my evening walk, the water crashing gently on my body. Cheshvan – Scoprio, the month of depth, the month of water, the hidden month of secrets. They call it the “bitter month” because it is the only one without a holiday, but I always feel it as a sacred time, a pause after the loudness of festivals, a time for the soul to slip beneath the surface, to find truth in the places we rarely dare to look.
As I walked, I felt the Aramaic – Hebrew Letter Nun that created Scoprio pulsing in my mind, an ancient symbol of hidden wisdom, of mysteries and cycles. Nun, shaped like a fish, the silent swimmer beneath the waves. The ancients say it represents the soul’s journey through the depths, the ability to face what is dark, to sink into the unknown and emerge transformed. Nun is my guide this month, Nun is our guide this month, its energy calling us to embrace the depths, to face the hidden places within ourselves.
The sky darkened as clouds gathered. I continued my walk. The cool air of Autumn can bring up cherished memories and also memories that we long ago buried. The letter Nun can bring up old wounds, regrets, and fears we haven´t wanted to acknowledge. It is easy and pleasant to focus on growth and joy, we feel motivated. But motivation is mental. Cheshvan is different. Cheshvan brings inspiration, the act of being in Spirit. Cheshvan whispers that real transformation is only possible when we journey into the depths, the soul’s descent, a kind of spiritual alchemy that can only take place when we dare to look at our own shadow.
A light rain began to fall, soft and steady, and I turned my face upward, feeling each drop like a small baptism. As I felt the rain on my face, its soothing embrace made me think of how much we tend to bury sadness away.
Do you ignore your own sadness?
Why do we even fear sadness?
Sadness is a call from the soul, a subtle signal urging us to reconnect with our deepest essence and spiritual purpose. Sadness is often a yearning to return to unity, to feel at one with ourselves, others, and the Source. Remember that the waters of Cheshvan are like a balm, like the ocean itself coming to hold us, as if it knew the weight we carry within us. The waters of Cheshvan are strong, as their purpose is to bring us back to a state of oneness.
The Aramaic – Hebrew letter NUN teaches us that some things cannot be explained or rationalized. There are emotions that can only be felt, layers that have to dissolve, dissolve like salt in the sea. Nun is asking us in this month of Cheshvan to surrender, to let go of the parts of ourselves we have been holding onto out of fear—fear of loss, fear of the unknown, fear of losing our sense of who we are. Nun reminds us that life and death are two sides of the same coin, that in letting go, something deeper in us could be reborn.
Listen to the silence between the waves of the waters of Cheshvan – Scorpio, that ancient voice reminding us that nothing is ever truly lost. Every experience, every feeling, every part of ourselves that we have had to let go will return to us in another form. Nun, the letter of the hidden, the letter of cycles, holds the promise that what we release becomes part of a greater whole. Even in our emptiness, there is fullness; even in our loss, there is return.
Feel gratitude for the emptiness, for the parts of yourself you no longer need to carry.
Feel the Divine in the silence, in the quiet of your own vulnerability, in the willingness to stand alone and let yourself be reshaped by what is real.
In every descent, there is a promise of light.
Allow the month of Cheshvan – Scorpio to take you deeper, to trust the unknown, to walk in the dark and feel your way through. You will feel whole and washed clean.
I am wishing all of you a blessed Shabbat.
As we light our 2 candles, may we call in unity to embrace duality.
As we re-enact the wedding feast, may the wine, the blood of the Shekhinah, infuse sacredness in our lives and bring us to a state of wholeness.
As we seed our intentions in the water, may illusion be washed away.
Today we start our weekend online immersion of the Mother Anna Violet Flame Healing Training. You are still in time to join us if you feel the calling. CLICK HERE for more information.
Sending love to all of you. I am infinitely grateful for your presence.
Ahava,
Ana Otero
